Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
