Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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