Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
