Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
