So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
NoShamevember. You game?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize