Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
