Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
