I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
