Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I have post one night stand depression
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