your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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