just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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