Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize
