its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
