I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
