he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
