there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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