Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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