Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
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I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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