bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
