Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
