Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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