I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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