is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm really busy with my period
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