Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize
