All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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