so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My penis needs a shock collar
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
