you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
