So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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