you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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