We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
