whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
