And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
