when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
