You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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