Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk

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(864): you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk http://tfl.nu/iikf

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

tie

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(401): just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant? (1-401): tie http://tfl.nu/oumz

Replies (30) Good night (545) Bad night (2317)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?

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(203): Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton? http://tfl.nu/kum0

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(816): View more from Missouri

I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.

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(816): I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book. http://tfl.nu/rwum

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(443): View more from Maryland

he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber

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(443): he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber http://tfl.nu/w4rq

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(703): View more from Virginia

we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.

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(703): we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints. http://tfl.nu/3trl

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(636): View more from Missouri

So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.

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(636): So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned. http://tfl.nu/elt7

Replies (38) Good night (2436) Bad night (6066)
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(925): View more from California

Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.

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(925): Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit. http://tfl.nu/rw2b

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(916): View more from California

she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?

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(916): she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now? http://tfl.nu/pv3x

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(406): View more from Montana

stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it

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(406): stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it http://tfl.nu/40em

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(720): View more from Colorado

I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.

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(720): I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom. http://tfl.nu/lin9

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(989): View more from Michigan

Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.

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(989): Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady. http://tfl.nu/qu2m

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(954): View more from Florida

I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in

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(954): I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in http://tfl.nu/4adg

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(647): View more from Ontario

I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.

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(647): I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover. http://tfl.nu/tjzc

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(281): View more from Texas

When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.

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(281): When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down. http://tfl.nu/j4so

Replies (2) Good night (983) Bad night (195)

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