see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
