Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Operation Purity has been aborted
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad