how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.