This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
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I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
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so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich