New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
