You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
