The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
