i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
