I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
try to milk me bitch
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