Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
