can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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