That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize