It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
