vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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