i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
