Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You need Xanax blowdarts
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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