Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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