I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize