I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
