Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
