Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the day after is always just damage control
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
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mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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