no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
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i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
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A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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