Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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