Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
